Monday, June 2, 2014

#1: My Faith, My Fight


Ini nih yang mestinya jadi roh dan jiwa setiap pikiran, perkataan, dan perbuatan saya sebagai muslimah. This should be the center of everything. Allah SWT’s blessing and His promises should be enough up-and-beyond reasons for me, as a Moslem. However, it is easier said than done. In Indonesia, with more than 75% Moslem population, Islam is everywhere. It means for me who is not going out much that bound 95% people I met every day in Commuter Line, at the station, at work, at the market, in city’s public space, are Moslems. I should have been so lucky that my life goes around the world that works in Islamic way, terorinya sih begitu. There is almost no outside barrier whatsoever for us to practice and implement our good deeds.

Did I witness Islamic values and norms always being in place? Ternyata enggak juga. Apalagi di Jakarta, kota yang kejam ini (kata Miss K). With so many interpretation of Islamic values and norms in our society, what I saw was more and more people violating human rights in the name of Islam (or not, sometimes it’s simply due to ignorance). Or people surrender to superstitious, magical premise, instant solution offered by religious leaders in various levels in our communities. Or people discharging themselves from their faith because they feel it was too much limitation to enjoy life (can’t do this, shouldn’t do that), and it was too much investment for such an unforeseeable future payback (promised heaven seems too long to be waited for). Other people become indifferent, or practicing the rituals they like, or maybe not formally accepting the Islamic norms and rituals but agree with the general values and principles to match their own vision. Most of us though, are floating on the buoys of life, stroke back and forth between angels and demons inside us. That is quite a battle to choose the angels because many times it was not so easy.

The problem is more internal, in each of us Moslems. How much of the rituals really moved people to bring the best of ourselves to be independent and respectable, to help each other, to build better surroundings, to live each day with dignity? I don’t really know the answer. The concept of Islam, I believe, is a very high level thoughts but at the same time is very simple, very close to our heart and soul, to be a bless for the whole universe. So, maybe it will work effectively if I approach this most important segment in bottom-up attitude. High thinking is achieved through mindful rituals. Among the many, I want to focus with the manuals : Al-Qur’an and Hadits.

I remember there was time in my 17s, when out of my own curiosity I read the book of Hadits carefully and thoroughly just like I read a novel. Event though I might not understand the whole story, I was just enchanted by how Rasulullah SAW said and did things. It was of the best book I read in my late teens. Then I recalled when my best friend Joe gave me an Al-Qur’an as a send-away gift when I started working in Jakarta when I was 25. I remember I got a small version of Al-Qur’an as my mahar (wedding gift). I remember when I was pregnant with Miss K, I wholeheartedly recited Al-Qur’an on daily basis and finished more than once. Those were the most precious gift and the happiest moments in my life. The Qur’an and Hadist were not just being holy things, they also challenged me to think and feel again about the essence of life. It will be worth pursued again.

Lucky us to live in an environment supported by technology. Words spread so fast. Ideas are developed and enriched every second. One good thing happens after the other, including in our urban Islamic communities. One of them is www.OneDayOneJuzz.org. The idea is to bring Al Qur’an as an integrated part of our daily life by regular structured recitation. It reachs out young people –who are more willing to embrace new ideas— using internet facilities to access their online community’s support system.

Although I didn’t join “One Day One Juzz” online community, I was moved and challenged by the idea and the movement of reciting Al-Qur’an one juzz during a day of 24 hours. The reluctance to join the online service is more about my time management and preference to make the process private. Not that I don’t need other’s supports atau saya sok pinter, tapi saya ngga mau mengecewakan diri sendiri dan orang lain. I think I have enough deadlines to deal with on daily basis. I admit, I wouldn’t be too happy to add one more buzz from another group no matter how nicely the reminder will be. I will feel guilty and uncomfortable. I wanna enjoy every step along the way, just like in running. My true satisfaction was when I had my long distance running alone, as far as I could go. No timer, no crowds, no comments.

So maybe that’s how I will do a resolution-like of one day one juzz target (oooooorrrr... maybe not exactly one juzz per day :p; just trying to log in some juzz in a week).  I pray for myself to be istiqomah through the way to stick with the angels.  It’s not about the target in numbers but how I approach it as a part of my days. It should be a private, comfortable, and meaningful process.  Let’s ask for Allah SWT’s blessing so that the results will be much more than doing rituals and keeping the book. I’ll just keep my fingers crossed!

Note: I started it on April 9th, 2014.

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