New Things About Her

She has clear opinion
Miss K has a very strong opinion about the UN (Ujian Nasional), a final exam which make 60% of the total score to pass the Primary School level. She said too many things might happen in 2 days of the UN so that the exam result may hinder the true potential of the students. The scores may not show how much a students have learned and understood: one student can be too nervous so he can’t do the test well. Another student may be sick so she fails to reach certain marks. Or out of no where, a poor student could get higher score by luck.


The UN has also caused pressure over students from Year 6. She often overhears her 6th grader fellows complaining about the exam preps that demand so much of their time and energy.


One better way, Miss K was sure, is to look at the historical results of students in the last 2 years, starting from Grade 4, in 2nd semester. No UN, no depressing final test. When I ask “Would it make the sufferance of being 6th grader stay even longer by stretching it out earlier into 4th grade time?”. She claimed, “No, we just divide it up, so the same amount of total stress are handled in parts. That should make us less nervous, because we gradually succeed or gradually fail. No shocks”. Good point.

She found new opportunity (or not?)

Miss K was off her swimming training a lot this year. She came back later in November 2013 only to find she was waaaaay behind her peers in 25m and 50m, both in breast strokes and free strokes. We talk about local neighborhood club here –doing 2 sessions per week–  not the big national club with curriculum and medals target. So, basically it’s not about her winning or losing, but about swimming better.


One bright dim: eventhough she was still working on individual speed, her girl team made the silver medal on one of local race and she was proud that she –being the second swimmer– had ‘completed’ the team. “We couldn’t even be in the race with only 3 swimmers, Mom”. Another good point.


Based on her coach’s evaluation, she was lack in response on short distance challanges. The upside, though, her performance was a little better than girls in her team for middle and long distance (meaning going 20 to 30 laps of 40m pool). So adding the middle and long distance training would benefit her in stimulating the speed and hopefully in exploring a new opportunity for her to actually do middle distance (100m to 400m).


Her response? “Whooaaattttt? So I have to do more than others? I can say ‘No’, right, Mom?”  And I said, “Sure, honey...it’s up to you. And you can say it later, too, if you want. After you feel that it’s not worth the effort, maybe?”  

She is getting bigger

Miss K gained weight by 15% during 2013. She became taller, too. She practically ate everything available when the hunger attacked. Her 3th grade class teacher told me to provide more healthy food for both at school and at home since she witnessed Miss K’s upsurging appetite during the last months of Grade 3.  She is growing really fast! She will be a pre-teen very soon. It means extra expenditures for clothes and shoes and bras..... so early this year. And if you think shopping on mini sets  and shoes is easy, try it with a pre-teen girl who only knows what she doesn’t like!

Her emoticons became real

Last year I saw a big change in Miss K’s emotion, well... I hope in good ways. She began sharing her feelings in a bit more specific fashion. She was more and more able to explain if she was tired, get bored, sad, happy, loved, felt rejected/accepted, even predicted how other kids/people might feel and think. Well uhm... sometimes she was not very clear in explaining... sometimes her flood of tears or her burst of laughters told me more.

It was still vivid to me, one night she sobbed terribly after her stage performance at Goethe Institut in July. The group she performed with was packed with teenagers, so she seemed to be one of few younger members. At first, I thought that wouldn’t be a problem as long as she could sing and dance along following the scenario of the musical. Singing and dancing thing was not the matter. After the show, some kids congratulated each other, then screamed and jumped in pride and joy for the the success of the show. They took their tongue-out pictures. They even made plan to spend the rest of the night hanging out in a big mall. She was not invited. She was left.

Tears silently went down her chubby cheeks as she watched those kids gathered (she didn’t look at other directions where some other kids were celebrating it with their families). She was hurt, thought that she didn’t belong to the group even after 2 weeks together on the musical camp. When I listened to her describing the situation,  I couldn’t help admitting to myself that once in a while the world can be a harsh,  unfair place, with few unfair people.

I couldn’t find the right words to console her as I held her tight, rubbing her back and  whispering that she actually had some best friends who love and care for her. Those kind of friends might not share the same interests (i.e. the musical) but they were the ones who really made her days fun. What I learned about friendship so far is that it can’t be forced. Once acquired, it even take a lot to work it out. I hoped she could understand.


Another important point: just don’t mix pre-teens with the real teens. The first bunch might not ready yet to adapt to the second, a more independent (a.k.a. insensitive) pack.

(hopefully) She becomes an active happy reader

As a little girl, books introduced me to the outside world. Rarely going out on tour or family holiday, books were my key to the window of bigger, brighter life. I wanted to share the same joy with Miss K. I provided her a  lot of books since she was able to grasp things with her tiny fingers. And by a lot, I mean A LOT. She started reading when she was 4, I was so thrilled that the earlier a child could read, the bigger chance she would be a passionate reader. That was not the case with THIS KID.

She loved to read books, only sporadically. She hopped from one book to another; most of the time she didn’t finish the books. Only one specific book that she really loved: 'Mencari Tujuh Saudara', one of Time Life for Children collection.

Time went by and she still had her own style in reading. I encouraged her to jot down the points of the story, to write her own synopsis, to have a ‘show and tell’ chats with me, her dad, or her friends every time she read an interesting book. She only half-heartedly followed the ideas. But every person has her/his own time for every thing. This ‘BANG’ moment for her was when she –out of the blue– laid her eyes on “5 cm” novel. “It was a gift from a friend,” I said to her. “So it must be good. Can I read it?” she asked while curiously looking at the novel’s back paper review. I replied, “Sure, K.”


Then she went on reading the book from that moment until the next three days. Until she finally finished with a big smile on her face. “How was it?” I asked. “It was coooool, Mom. I don’t really understand all parts because there are a lot of dialogues, but I enjoyed reading it”. Then she told me the detail of the story. The downside: she asked me about G-string (duhh?). The good side: she even recognized the big idea: “The story tells us about friendship and about to never give up, since our dreams are so close. It is only 5 cm in front of our eyes”.


It was a BANG news for me. I am so glad she started reading intensely, not as a chore, but for her own pleasure.


And to my surprise, one good book led a way to another great book. When she was reading a children book ‘Ten’, she asked me if 'To Kill a Mockingbird’ is a good book since the character in ‘Ten’ read it. I went bananas for a second. In my mental picture I was down on my knee and pled: Please God, tell me this is the sign of promising future of her being a life time happy reader.  Not wanting to press her under my glee, I calmly responded : “It is a great book. You can it find yourself someday when you ready to read it”.


Everyday, I have new surprises, new stories, new enchanment of being with her while she is growing. Very fast. TOO FAST.